from my journal.

the stars glow in the night sky like christmas lights tonight. the goodness of the Lord, His beauty, His never-ending majesty, is reflected in these lights that speak of glory. it all overwhelms me. 

i'm listening to "a little more" by shawn mcdonald. so good. he says "it's time to confess that i need a little more Jesus inside of me." this is my prayer. 

some scripture i stumbled upon yesterday: isaiah 58:11 reads like this....

the lord will guide you continually, and satisfy your soul in drought, and strengthen your bones; you shall be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. 

even when i feel so low, i can come to the Father and He will pick me up. when i am so tired of this world, i have only to 'fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning it's shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that i will not grow weary and lose heart" (heb. 12: 2-3).

sometimes, i do fear failure. the Lord commands me not to fear. so i press on, supressing this earthly tendency to worry and fear things. faith sustains me. not just in a shallow, intellectual way. the head is good for logic and knowledge, but the heart--the heart is where i must go for the Way. when i am tired, i just go home to my heart. it is in the secret crevices of my own soul that i find rest, because i find Jesus. even now, as i breathe in and out, as i feel my heart beating in my chest, i understand how much better He is--after all, i exist because of Him. there is nothing good in me apart from Christ. the fountains of water that stream up and out of my body speak to His love and mercy. he loves so much better than i ever could on my own. so i simply go to Him for sustenance, for cleansing. every day i am washed by the waters (see john 7:38).