I've been saying "it's not about me." I never meant it.
The heart change that only God could have done is realized because of the peace that passes understanding, and the desire to glorify the Lord in this season because of the LOVE HE HAS FOR ME .
1 John 4:16
"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us."
I had to chew on this truth for some time, and I'm still gnawing on it.
God/Jesus/The Holy Spirit does not depend on my life, nor does "how much" I love Him, what I do or don't do-God would indeed exist without me. Everything would move on. The reality of the situation is that my life is not about me. My own life is not actually mine. I can say this now with newfound clarity and assurance, thanks to the Gospel of Jesus.