flesh and dreams.

"you pulled me from the wreckage
of bitterness and blame
flung open the page
and put some flesh on
the bones of my dreams."
-David Gray, "Flesh"

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These aren't the kind of dreams had at night. They're not the kind that tell you something super spiritual that might be from the Lord. It's not a "I Have a Dream" dream like Martin Luther King, Jr. encountered and shared.

The kind of dreams I'm talking about are the things that you want so badly that can be attained if they are meant for you; they're also the kind that may just stay dreams.

When I was a child I dreamt I would one day become the President of the United States. I dreamt I would swim in the Olympics and win medals. I dreamt I would become a successful lawyer.

About fourteen years later God has given me new dreams. Some constantly change while some have stayed the same for a long time and will stay with me forever.

I dream about being a mother and a wife. I dream about traveling the world and meeting new people and having new experiences. I dream about sharing life with people in physical and spiritual need. I dream about one day looking around me and seeing all of my extended family together (whether it's my grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins, or whether it is my own old eyes looking out over what I have birthed).

One of my dreams is constant, and it's something that I love doing with all of my being: I have this ache within me that says "Write. Just write."

I've always loved Jo March from Little Women, who says "Wouldn't it be fun if all the castles in the air which we make could come true and we could live in them?"

I'm not creating castles in the air quite yet, but I'm hoping my pen will take me lots of places in the future (whether castles or slums). I'm getting excited about the possibilities of what is to come. I'm trying to avoid this fear I find creeping in too often. So much comes with being vulnerable: Criticism, rejection, and more criticism. If you know me at all, you know I'm not a fan of either. Then again, who is?

I'll press forward through the fear (with your help and prayers) and see what happens with this dream of mine, which started out with the stuff 7-year-old girls write. It's moving into things that I hope will be blessed by God and able to bless others.

So my pen wonders this: Wouldn't it be fun if my words come alive and move people and I can live in that?