April 3, 2010.

This is something I came across while I was reading previous journal entries. I'm trying to remember good, and I stumbled upon this; while reading it again, I thought: "This must have come from the hand of God, not mine." It's proof to me that He still speaks to me, and I try to respond.

Day 1 of April travel adventures. I'll never forget today: Driving with Jason, Liz, and Javier down the Panamericana to Atico. Listening to "I Will Rise" by Chris Tomlin. I started to think about my time here.

1. I'm a beach girl. It apparently takes limited transportation in addition to living far from the ocean to realize this. I've been surrounded by mountains for the last two years, with few options to see my beloved water. But today I was astounded by the sea below me (incredible, breathtaking views), and I realized I'm meant to be a playera.

2. Peru truly is a beautiful country. I mean, astounding. The vistas are things that shouldn't be of this world (even as you contemplate a very easy death that is only feet away on the highway).

3. My time here has been so defined by being solitary. This has affected my ability to have a conversation. To make eye contact. To feel like my normal, social self again. My means of expression has been largely through writing, not verbal.

4. As we are driving, I have a lightbulb moment. Don't know why it's just now happening. I'm going to try to express it clearly:

God doesn't promise Christians that they follow Him and life is suddenly free of pain, sorrow, hurt, loneliness, anger, disappointment, depression. This life doesn't mean that we are free from the gamut of human emotion; we still feel, and we will feel low sometimes. We are still mortal.

But we have hope. Not only can we still live abundantly, but we have hope in this life because we walk with Christ. He is here, even in the midst of crap. He won't leave us.

What's more, our hope carries over from this world into the next. My hope is found in Christ, in spending eternity with Him. Heaven means no pain, no sorrow, nothing bad.

So while we may find ourselves in hard times, we live day to day in joy, remembering Who is on our side, and being reminded of, and clinging to, our hope in Jesus.