close your eyes and see.

There's a lot of questions floating around in my head. Do I really trust God? I say I do, but do I really allow Him to take control of my life? Do I believe God and and His promises? I want to be needed; how do I quench that desire in a selfless manner? Why don't I meet with the Lord every day? He's my first love. What is in my heart that in hindering me walking in victory with Christ, as He intends? How can I start to get the junk out of my life that is preventing an abundant life, lived to the glory of God?

As you can see, I'm being challenged. God is rocking my boat, big time.

On a positive note, in recent weeks, I've been given a few verses from Colossians that have helped the struggle surrounding my return to the US in about three months (still hard to say, but starting to roll off the tongue a little easier).

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him (ch. 3).

I'm preparing to work for the Lord wherever He takes me. It might be in a Lawrenceville, GA Starbucks. I will serve people their coffee in the name of Christ. Then, I'll bike home because I can't afford gas. ;)

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving (ch. 3).

I've recently been struggling with some work-related stuff (PRAY over that, por favor). Anyway, I want to finish this time in Peru working with all of my heart, for God--not for any man. I think that God is using this experience to prepare me for future work/ministry situations.

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness (ch 2).

Finally, may the remembrance of my salvation and what Christ did for me on the Cross consume my mind and heart and motivate me to meet with Him every day. I am so weak, but He is strong. May He build me up in Him and strengthen the faith He placed in my heart so long ago. Would that I overflow with thankfulness.

In fact, I'm going to go ahead and claim it: I thank You in advance, Lord, for the changes that You're working in me as I get soaked in hard storms and parched in deserted valleys. They're for a reason. I see Your goodness and Your faithfulness in them. Thanks for that, God. Move in me for Your name.

I give you thanks for preparing me for changes that are coming. Would you replace my fear with a joy in moving forward and seeing what is next. Give me a motivation to be active in this time and seek out what You would have me do. In the name of Jesus, I thank You.

A 'post dato,' Lord...As I prep for America, perhaps the most important prayer I could send to the heavens: Help my dad and his clingy tendencies. He's already threatening to chain me to a post in the backyard. Forever.