trust.

take my heart, i lay it down, at the feet of you who's crowned
take my life, i'm letting go, i lift it up to you who's throne
i will worship ...

the other day i woke up before 6 am and was in pain. over what, i couldn't begin to tell you. it was more spirit pain, i think (though i was nervous about traveling later that day). i laid in bed for over two hours, awake, trying to rest, trying to gain clarity on whatever i was feeling, while just really rumpling the sheets into a twisted mess.

this unnameable feeling might stem from confusion/anxiety. just a guess. i sense i'm entering a season of change. i've said i'd follow Christ wherever, for however long. He brought me to Peru for a bit, and now we might be relocating together. i'm not sure.

i truly have no idea about what is coming, and that is scary.

my best friend reminded me today to remember to be where i'm at in addition to being freaked out of my mind over the big, upcoming-and-too-soon, uncertain questions.

the good surprise on the morning i woke up insanely early....i laid in bed for about 2.5 minutes, just dwelling on negatives. then came this Word, clear as day: "trust in the Lord your God with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths."

i repeated this over and over for about two hours. i held onto it throughout that day, into my travel time. i still cling to it.

i have no idea what this verse holds in this particular context. i am thankful God gave it to me for such a time as this. it is like cleansing rain. and it was raining that morning.

maybe it'll seep deep into my heart again...